Corporate Conversation

I think I have had a lovely time after college not that I mean life in the campus was not as good. That was great too. So what has changed between then and now?.I have started enjoying solitude, anonymity and the zone of being “comfortably numb”. So what did I do after college?: Lived a life less than ordinary. The expression that I often use to describe it is “Middle class timid life style” and that’s what is called mundane. But mundane isn’t always boring though I will agree that it implies long stretches of boredom.

This boredom is often the genesis of some very interesting conversations. Like the time when I was changing the job for the 4th time in 3 years.

I had become bored of questions like:
“Where do you see yourself ten years from now?”

My Answer:I am relatively blind to such long time frames.

Well this is not the best answer.

The best I have heard is:“I see my self sitting in a glass office on the 14th floor of Oberoi towers, facing the Arabian Sea, my legs on the table, and a sexy secretary standing by my side”. Yeah that’s where I see my self.

Another bouncer (and this specially applies to likes of me): “What makes you feel that you are going to stick to this job? "

My Answer: Well in the first place there are no such feelings but if you insist, I will hold on to this job because I have already changed three jobs in three years!!(Beat that).

See if I hadn’t been bored I wouldn’t have thought of such answers.

Like most people I am not satisfied with what I am doing. Plainly put I think I am not making enough money and naturally it shows in the appraisal meetings. In particular, I remember one with a certain manager X. (I prefer to maintain anonymity. There are two reasons for it: 1) It keeps all my managers wondering 2) I have no hard feelings for X because he was not a bad person, just a little stupid).

X: So are you enjoying your job?
Me : No. (Simple answers are more shocking than sophisticated ones)
X : Why not ?
Me : I did not come here to do what I am doing
X : Will you like a project change?
Me : Not necessarily, I don't want pain in life just for another bullet point in my resume
X : Well in that case we will be working together for a year or so
Me : In that case I will rather have te bullet point
X: okay, we will see. You have been here for some time how do you like the culture here
Me : I will rather be at MMMCo
X : Why ?
Me : It pays 15 lpa.
(I knew that even Mr X was not getting this much so...)
(there are was a long pause and I got an inkling that I can knock out Mr.X)
Me: and you know ,being at MMMCo its quite possible that I get a chance to talk to some big shot in the very first month of joining ,where as right now…..

Needless to say, I was moved on bench the very same week.

Another set of interesting people are the H.R. guys (well mostly they are gals).

H.R. by the very nature of its work has the business of poking its nose where it’s not supposed to.

I often use my fictitious girlfriend as the source of instability in my life to dodge the H.R. hounds.(sorry darling, but if you do not save my ass then who will).

Just after I resigned from my previous job I got a call from H.R. for an “informal chat” about what can be done to retain me. (I seriously doubt the success ratio of such “informal chats” but that’s what the corporate protocol is like. Given a chance I will beat the shit out this corporate culture, etiquettes and what not).

As an obedient employee and soon to be an ex-employee I walked to the meeting room and there was this beautiful lady,with whom I have been trying to talk to for the last one year , sitting alone in the meeting room. I told her that I was called for a meeting and she said she is the one who will be conducting the “exit interview” for me
and I am like “uhhh…..what about the informal chat”.

So anyways, all the chances of using my fictitious girlfriend as an accomplice were ruled out. Hence began our conversation

HR : So why are you changing,don’t you like it here?
Me : Peronal reasons
HR : I need to know the exact reason . It will help us reduce attrition
Me : I am not comfortable talking about the exact reason, atleast not here. Can we go down to the cafeteria.I need some caffeine.

And for the first time in my life I realized how dumb I can be Just when I thought that I was doing okay I blurted out “You know its because of my girlfriend.” And then what?

HR : “Are you getting married?”.

By this time I was back in my seneses and made a desperate attempt to bring the conversation on track:
"No but we are having problems and I will like to stay close to her."

All I was thinking at that time was that the next time I meet this girl I am going to say it did not work out but that was the last I saw of her.

I think thats all I have for today...I intend to keep writing these blogs even if no body is interested in reading .....after all its life less than ordinary