Confessions of a failed lover

So the first twist in the tale is that it is not I who is going to confess but believe it or not I have heard confessions of many a spurned lovers which I am going to reproduce. I don't know the ulterior motives behind these confessions because I am not a love doctor of any sorts but whatever it is ,I think it's close to Gandhi's talisman which says :

"Whenever in state of distress remember the face of the poorest man you have seen and you will find your sorrows melting away"

Thats one thing that these guys learnt well in school.

Well there are many stories that I can write here, I am just organising my thoughts . Let me start with a unique story.

So I was sharing an apartment with this guys for 4-5 months and he had a unique style of impressing a girl. He learnt the language she spoke(so whats new you will say ,dude I don't mean he learnt the language of her heart or mind he literally learnt language she spoke). The fact that he now knows around 4 indian languages(including sanskrit: this is because some one told him that Sanskrit is the mother of all Indian languages,thats called vision sir...way to go dude) and 2 foreign languages gives an estimate of his number of ex's. For the likes of me who are practically lingustically illeterate this route to "patao" a girl seems like an up hill task. But like every dog every stud has his day.One day he saw a cute chinki and then began the drama .So he comes to me and narrates his story obviously the first question I asked him is how did he manage that. After a lot of lecture on love doesn't need a language and crap he told me that he actaully taught the "chinki" a bit of english...love knows no barries.

The second story is an office romance.This is the worst kind of romance you can imagine because once you have been turned down you cannot just walk away from the situation,you just keep seeing her every day and force a smile every time you see her . This is exactly what happened with one of my best friends. Both of us use to have long discussions about what should be done and it was decided that he should resign.What i heard next day is a true example of
"You rise when you fall in love".
His boss did n't accept his resignation but he offered him permanent position in the US office.


there are many more probably I will continue that in the next blog

New Year Swades Style

There has never been anything new about any new year except that the calendar changes and people like Vijay Malaya get a chance to exploit some more teenage girls.Don't get me wrong I don't mind girls exposing ,what I do mind is that they expose for Malaya, some one old enough to be their Grand Pa.

Lets get back to new year : People need a reason to celebrate and I join the fun as well. Moreover New year is always a good excuse to use the leftover leaves.

My college friends know that I have been crazy about Goa ever since my second year when my middle class small town outlook started fading and thus made way for the metro culture.The fun part is :I could never go to Goa while in college so by the time I graduted it had became an obsession.

I have been there thrice in three years after graduation and each one of these trips has been an experience.

The first time i went to Goa,i did it in style. Pune - to- Goa on bike- some 600 kms- reached there on 31st night. Phew!!! looks like a lot, it was a lot .My cute little posterior was on fire. Any one who would have seen me naked then could have easily mistaken me for a 'langoor'.
But Goa is worth all the pain in the world

The next time was also fun but not as much as the first time so I decided to rekindle the magic the third time.

After having done "Dhoom" in Goa I decided it was time for "DCH". New year was there and I had a lot leaves pending , a perk that is unnecessary but nevertheless is the the most sought after luxury in any corporate package.

Anyways My Plan was to go to Kolhapur and from there on drive to Goa in my friend's new "Baleno". Little did I know that this guy was planning to get married in 2007. Now you get an inkling of what lies in store for you.

When I reached Kolhapur I called this guy only to find out that he is out on a misadventure of meeting a girl. These days its easy to find guys like him who panic on turning thirty. Whats so special about 30, its after 29 and anyone who doesn't die prematurely will be 30 some day.I sometimes wonder if these guys are worried about menopause or what??

You guessed it right : "DCH" plan crashed even before it took off. But those who know me know it well that I am not the one to give up, so what if I was alone on the New Year or I had to drink in solitude.Atleast I was in Goa and I was drinking.

Hence started the "Swades" experience.

All the buses from Kolhapur to Goa were, as an agent put it, "overful".I was told that the only way I could reach Goa was via Belgaum. So I boarded one of the private buses .The kind that stops for every person standing by the road side.

The journey from Kolhapur to Belgaum was pretty uneventful.The shock came after reaching Belgaum. The only option there are the KSRTC buses with a capacity of 80 people but KSRTC thinks that these are sturdy enough to carry atleast 150. It looked like the bus was ready to explode.But never the less, I said "Jai Shivaji" and jumped into one of the buses. The moment I got into the bus some one shouted f@(k in a local dialect. I ignored it like a true gentleman but then I realized that I was standing on something that moved.

The smell of sweat reminded me of the Hostel years(yesteryears ,hostel years all the same) and I thought that deodrants definitely have a huge market in this part of the world. With each jerk I cursed my friend :
"Teri shaadi bhi kisi gaon main ho jahan tujhe bullockcart main jaana pade".

Like the previous bus this one also stopped for anyone who waved his hand at it.

After a few hours I got a seat which was no seat at all. I thought that at end of this ordeal I will have to sit on a pillow like Saif Ali in "DCH" , the only consolation : there is going to be some "DCH" finally.

I some how survived the bus which took close to 6 hours and from the depths of my heart I cursed my friend again:

"Tere honeymoon mein teri gaadi kharab ho jaye aur door door tak taxi na mile"

I reached my favourite beach ,again by some similar buses but by this time i had switched on the "Budhdha Mode"

The day went by without much problems as the "har gam ki dava" is pretty cheap in Goa plus there were bikini clad girls all around . It always looks better live than on television.

Then came the New Year's eve . I was sitting alone in one of the beach restaurants sipping redwine and there was a candle on my table. So technically I was having a candlelight dinner all by myself.
Again a curse for my beloved friend :
"Teri candle light dinner waqt aandhi aa jaye."

Then it was 12:00:00 AM the moment every one was waiting for and many of them were making some wish. I too made a wish :

"Yogi ,Teri shaadi is saal nahin hogi"

The next day I decided to leave early. I woke up the receptionist who had not gotten over previous night drinking and this time some curses came my way.The bill was huge and after paying the bill I was left with some 100 Rs in my pocket but thanks to ICICI there are ATMs everywhere.

Finally I got home on 2nd of Jan.
Aum sweet home!!